ASR: B13: Chapter 4: In A World So Biasedly Based — To Be Just Is An Ongoing Life Challenge

To put it simply: yes, I still believe in “God”, just not any “God”.

Many people passionately defend “God” title and position in their life. Proclaim and “sell” the image of “God” to potential followers. But how many truly knows what “God” is really like or all about? Has anyone ever thought of asking “God” how the day went? We assume “God” want followers, assume “God” need big churches, temples, Mosques, and Gurdwaras to reside in. Assume that “God” need a name, a face, and a kingdom to rule over. Assume “God” need someone kneeling and praying to “God” a certain number of times a day. But is that our needs and wants — or “God’s”?

###

Many humans are social creatures, and we like doing things in numbers because we feel enforced and empowered by common perspectives and opinions. Many of us cannot handle being alone and is very afraid to feel vulnerable. Thus, we seek to migrate to where others are. In groups, in numbers, we are not afraid. So, the question is, does “God” need followers? Or do individuals assume so out of personal insecurity and vulnerabilities?

How much of what we do for “God” is actually done for ourselves? How much of the deeds we do in “God’s” name is a projection? Or an excuse to exercise and compensate for our own selfish need and desire? How much of what we know and teach about “God” is a collection of our egos?

Humanity created “God” out of fear to protect ourselves from the many threats to our survival and the thereafter. Humanity fear life for its unpredictable and unknown nature. Fear death for its unknown aspect and for the lack of knowledge of what lies ahead. Fear truth because it exposes our weaknesses and vulnerabilities. Truth calls out our demons and forces us to face them.

Thus, once we realize what is keeping us unevolved. Keeping us trapped within our “conditionings”. Once we face it, overcome it, and make peace with it — by accepting and understanding how the design works and respecting its intention. We would not need the illusions of a “God” to teach us how to ascend above ourselves. We would know the way.

Once we have faced our fear and let it go. Only then, can we willingly give up our false sense of control. Give up our attachments to the many forms of “comfort” we think we needed. To be ready to journey upon the unknown path to get to where we want to be. In this way, the human “God” is our selfish invention to solve all, to excuse all, and to explain all. There are as many “Gods” as our creative imagination.

###

There are times in my life when I wish I did not know all that I know, all that I came here with. Times when I wish I can believe in humanity’s idea of “God”. Because then I can be like everyone else. I can pretend that “God” has no power over my will. “God” is powerless to the path I choose in life and is blind to my excuses. If I had believed in man’s version of “God” than I will still be hating “God” today.

Man’s version makes it very easy to despises “God” for all the misfortunes in my life. Because I can ignore “God” whenever I choose. When it is convenience for me to do so. Believe only what I want to believe — my life would be so much easier if I could. Because then I can use senseless excuses to justify my selfishly desired outcome.

Therefore, why my higher teams of guardians took matter into their own hands. They ripped each excuse to threads to show me how senseless they are. To show me that there is a power greater than what I am taught, that life does have a grand purpose. It is not just a senseless and unfair existence as that I am templated and conditioned to believe in.

###

Now that I know all that I need to in this moment in time. I realize though I have some enhancements; I am so grateful that I am not made any more different. Or anymore ordinary, than the billions of people who tries each day to make end meets. People who do the best they can to live the life that they are given. I am glad for it. For no being of this world should think they are more than they are: A child of existence. A student of life.

Because when people allow themselves to think they are more than what they are. When they least expected it to — the ego will sneak in to cloud their perceptions, manipulate their decisions, and dictate their actions. When the ego is big, there is a risk of allowing other people’s reactions and influences to dictates: How we should think, how we should act, and how we should be. The more important we think our role is. The more obligations we feel we have to others to uphold our status. To meet expectations, and the easier it is to lose sight of who we are born to be.

Living up to the expectations of the status we are raised to believe we are entitled to. Continuously depending on deceptions to motivate ourselves each day — are also forms of suffering sometimes we neglect to realize. The rules that apply to stay within the status and standard others expect of us — is a chain that can imprison and poison the purest of heart and soul. For the power of peers’ pressure and their influences are not ones we should underestimate.

###

Before I know all that I know now, I struggle with self-hate a few times in my life. When I am faced with the challenge to do what is best for me or what is best for others. When I choose to do what is best for others over myself. Knowing, I will suffer consequences that put me in a position to struggle. Yet, I continue to choose what I choose, because I could not ignore the needs that calls out to me. That is when I struggled the most due to what I am taught and how I am conditioned, by the templates of this realm.

Having the soul of a healer and the heart of a giver. Compassion is my nature. Giving and healing people who comes across my path is a higher calling I could not resist. The higher wisdoms that ground me to humanity, and yet connected me to source. Makes it almost unbearably hard sometimes — to still be 100% me. Yet, understand the people of this realm, and act as a native of it.

“New” to this realm. I lack the filters, barriers, and experiences to set boundaries. Lack the lessons to realizes my strengths and weaknesses. Lack the abilities to protect and defend myself against unfamiliar conditionings and circumstances. Therefore, lack the comprehension and understanding how to properly positions myself, to adapt against my newfound situations and its conditions.

Being simultaneously taught by my peers and my higher guardians — very conflicting and opposing lessons in higher wisdoms. Until I recognize that I was being taught two different sets of lessons at the same time. I was very disoriented when I was taught I “deserve” better for being who I am. I did not understand where the almost desperate need, to be “worthy” that dictates the lives of those around me come from. I did not realize that being a “decent” person, being an “honest” person is such a trial in this realm. That being genuinely so without filters can have consequences and adverse effects.

###

It took soul-tearing lessons for me to start questionings and realizing the corrupted underlining templates, that governs this realm. It took being lost within it and consistently losing grips on my higher principles. To understand where the roots of our problems lie. I felt like I was cornered into dangling from a ledge. When I begin to realize what my peers was feeling and experiencing due to what they are taught. I begin to see what they see.

Thus, I am begun to feel I was wrongly being “punished”. When I am taught, I “deserve” more for being the person that I am. That life should be a little fairer to “good” people. I am taught that at the end of life, there will be someone there to judge me.

The fact that I am taught and told repeatedly that there is someone looking out for us. Someone who is going to be there to judge us at the end. It made me start questioning my life in compared to other people. When I questioned my decisions and my choices — and found them to be pure.

I came up confused as to why am I being “punished” for being “selfless”? While the people who are “selfish” are being blessed. If there is an ultimate judge, how is my “punishment” fair? What did I do to “deserve” what I went through? What did others do to “deserve” what they got?

###

Being taught that there is an ultimate judge, I started questioning His qualifications for the position. If He is so “unfair” to me in life, how can I trust that He will be fair to me in the afterlife? Who is He to judge me when He does not live my life? Who gives Him right? If He created me to be poor or with a disability. And created someone else to be rich or more “perfect” — Then how dare He expects our achievements and accomplishments to be measured by the same scale?

Especially, in a world so biasedly based. Where a term or a name — or even how something look, can self-discriminate and disqualified a subject from being favored. Simply because some people identify with certain specific taught perspectives. Or just plain associate and choose to be selective because they can.

Thus, a “God” created by man — in the image of man himself. Cannot be fair and just if He does not even know He is corrupted from birth.

###

As with most social construct, religion is a good concept. It is a system we created to stay on track of the path set before us. In a social system this concept has been constructed out of a need for directives, order, control, and as a roadmap to give us directions and set goals. A construct that over the years has been warped and corrupted by material “clutters” — and rulers. Who needs to keep the fear-based template of old mentality going to keep themselves in power.

We are taught to suffer and continue to live our life in a fear-base template. Because people living in fear and suffering are easier to control and manipulate. Because we have such a long history of teaching each other this way of thinking. This way of accepting and living life the way we have been doing. It has become a “natural” habit to just do what we usually do — even if it is not in our best interest to do so.

Most of us choose to be comfortable. Even in unideal positions — over being uncomfortable by facing our fear and go through changes. Hence, even with the knowledge that we are going the wrong way. Even knowing, the truth deep within our heart and soul. We would not let ourselves accept it because we have choices. So, we tend to abuse the entitlement to it by picking what is easiest to us.

###

A truth where “God” is our creation — Is a hard habit to break, and a comfort we do not want to give up. Because “God” is a “one-size-fit-all”. “He” is a concept to unite individuals in a time when we need to stick together to survive and prosper. “God” is also invented as a defense mechanism out of need for protection from us — against ourselves.

“God” is our defense mechanisms, our excuses, and our ready-made justifications for all the wrongs we do. “God” is our scapegoat for all the flaws we cannot accept. Thus, “God” is an entity we are taught to fear, to worship, to inspire to — But He is nothing other than a larger-than-life iconic figure. Just like today’s celebrity.

Because before television, books, the internet, technology, and advance transportations. To allow us to be closer to share our experiences and wisdom. “God” is the only subject big enough to break the barriers of our differences — And allow us to have common ground to unite, against the many threats to our survival.

###

“God” is an ambiguous concept we have used and reused continuously. Because it is a “one-size-fit-all” notions that can be made to suits anyone — in every lifestyle. At any point in time, or stages of life. It can justify a wrong, for example: If we fight a self-LESS war in the name of “God”. It would be better received and accepted by us and others; then it is to admit we are in too deep.

That we are fighting a war for a murderous, greedy tyrants who we have ignorantly allowed to manipulate us. Manipulate us into believing in his selfish and insane ambitions. If we are convinced, we are doing our “duty” by fighting for “God”. Which is the “right” side, because “God” cannot be “wrong”. We would feel better about the innocent children and people we murdered in cold blood. Feel better about the homes we stole and the devastations and suffering we leave behind in our wake.

Thus, “God” is there to legitimize the self-center, sadistic, greedy, bloodthirsty, egoistic, and selfish monsters that lives within us — Pleasantly “justifiable”, “acceptable”, and “respectful”[1]. “God” is there to give us “permission” to act out our self-serving desire and dress it up as if it is for the good of others. When it is in fact only for the selfish — us. “God” is there to blame if things go bad in our lives, because He cannot defend Himself.

“God” is there to hate when someone hurt us, because we could not hate those that we love. To blame when life is unfair. To rage at when we do not have anyone but ourselves to blame, because God does not “Talk back”. He is there to forgive us when we cannot forgive ourselves because He cannot say otherwise.

###

Thus, the “Gods” and all things associated to them is a system we have invented and nothing more. A grand reward system we created to remind us of the reasons why we should not succumb to our darker nature. However, it is also a system embraced by leaders and rulers to be used as tools — to fool the unaware into handing over their power. A system created to keep a majority submissive to tyrants, bullies, and dictators who have abilities to sell themselves and manipulate the crowd and situation.

[1] Referring to the rulers of past (and present — who are just not so obvious. Well, not as obvious to the historical outrageous extent. But it has not changed much) who’s subjects starve out on the street while they reserve the rights to eat 100 course meals, wear, and eat golds for themselves.