ASR: B5: Chapter 6: To Cherish What Is Lost
Before I knew of the fact that I have been walking unknowingly between timelines and different realms. I am very confused by my lack of understanding of my place in this world. It is not that I cannot see other’s people’s “logic” or perspective clearly that I am frustrated and lost in this world — But it is because they cannot see mine. I did not realize that it is because I have seen both sides of the coin; and is privileged to a higher understanding and wisdom that my perspective is so different. Where I know the difference so I can sympathy, empathy and even forgive the actions others takes against me.
They have not been shown the differences. So, cannot differentiate what they know from what they do not know. Thus, by not recognizing what they do not know is missing. They compensate for their lack of understanding that which is unfamiliar to them: with previously taught reactions, expectations, and taught “wisdom” that they have yet to fully understand. Because they do not understand what they are taught; they corrupt and twisted the knowledge out of its true meaning. Resulting in fear, which lead to discrimination and their actions and reactions.
I realized this now, but I did not understand it then. By not understanding the distinguish difference I allowed myself to become a prisoner of templated expectations and perspectives. It is very frustrating to see how the “logics” of this physical world works so well for those who live within it; but cannot understand why it does not work for me — Even though, I am physically here as well. Until recently, I know that I see the world differently, but I did not know why.
This is what is frustrating and hard for me to accept. Because of my “spiritual amnesia” due to the “veil of forgetfulness”. I do not honestly understand why I am so different when physical evident say otherwise. I am born into this world like everyone else, I am raised in the same environment. I have needs like everyone else. I bleed as everyone else. Then why am I so different?
Until the truth is clarified for me, I thought my theory of living multiple lives is a crazy and impossible concept because everyone else thought so. Yes, I live it my whole life and they have not, but because it is just me verse everyone else. My theory, my truth — is “crazy.” I am misguided to believe that is not possible, but here I am living proof of it.
If I am not so much of a skeptic and am not literally beaten into submission on all fronts to accept my truth; I would not believe it myself. However, believe or not believe, acceptance at this point in my life is not a choice I have. This is my reality, regardless of what I, or anyone else think, or want to believe. I can no longer accept others’ limitations as my own now that the universe has clarified what I needed to know.
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I understand through first-hand experiences and earn wisdom; that sometimes life can be too dark and dreary. So a little illusion, a little fantasy and self-deception can be healthy. It is the best therapy sometimes for the mind. Especially, when life becomes too hectic and hit you too hard and you need to escape for a little while away from the chaos. Thus, you need a break to clear your mind so you can come back with a fresh perspective, and renewed energy to deal with the problem you are trying to solve or understand.
I understand the needs for indulging in temporarily obsession, and I understand how hard it is for some people to break away from it addictive pull. Thus, I finally understand why some of the people of this realm chooses to base their foundations upon illusions and self-deception to build their journey upon. I understand all this now. But back then, growing into my physical self, I am constantly hopelessly lost and confused.
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As a teenager, I am always confused by people’s reaction to tragedy. For example, there is a girl at school who everyone barely knows, and some who do knows her would make fun of her and talk behind her back. They torment her and bully her, but suddenly she died in an accident and everyone is crying as if she is their best friend.
How much of those tears I wonder is really for her, and how much I wonder is really because it is something to do for personal attention? Or something to do because everyone else is doing or expecting it? I am not heartless, far from it. Rationally, I cannot understand this “practice” of respecting people only after they are gone.
Death is not a new concept to life. Nor is it discriminative of age, race, intellectual level, health conditions, or any other factors that makes up its counterpart — Life. So, why are so many people so adverse to talk of it — or is caught so off guarded when it happened? Why do people think we can treat people in our lives badly while they are still alive and believe we can make it up to them with talks of respect and bucket of tears after they are gone? Or unless a tragedy hit them and it becomes a big deal to “feel” bad; people tends to disregards the affects they have on the people in their lives.
I did not understand, why dignity, respect, and compassion are measure by a crowd to a convincing performance after the facts? Those that bully that girl, just because they can cry the loudest and shed the most tears. Does it really make up for all the pain they have causes in their initial actions? Because their victim is gone. Who are they really making up to and making feel better with their loud cries and bucket of tears?
In that example, after all that it is said and done, and all we have is a great performance so we can feel better about ourselves. If the performance is spectacular enough to get lots of confirmation and approval; we move on to the next Act — learning nothing from the experience but the fact that we got away with our initial actions.
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As an adult, I do not understand why it is such a big deal in the news and to most people. Why it seem like a whole nation should mourn the death of a few people who die in a plane crash. Or that terrorist killed one person to taunt our government and make themselves be known. We spend millions, if not billions, on watching a sporting event. Billions on making movies; we spend billions more on research to call ourselves “experts” to confirms what is often common sense. Billions on preparations for wars and natural disasters, and maybe trillions of dollars on making ourselves look better and live longer.
Yet, the death count for people dying of common diseases and sickness due to lack of bare necessities and essentials such as: food, clean water, a roof to keep them from the elements and simple medical conditions — happens every day. Every second the number surpass that eight people that die of a crash, surpass that few hundreds that die in a manmade disaster. Yet, nothing much is said on the news about that, and the donations do not come rushing in.
Is it not tragic enough to slowly die of lack of food, housing, water, and medication in compared to a quick plane crash? Is the common lack of basics not worth our concern because it has yet reach us? Has yet inconveniences us with its truths so we can overlook it? Is compassion undeserved if it is not directly heading our way and we fear for ourselves?
Why do those who already have too much “deserve” so much more sympathy and thoughts than those who have so very little and needed it the most? Why is their tragic situation that can be salvageable constantly being overlook and ignored? If half the sympathy and thoughts of all the people who gives it to those in other tragedies can be given to those who live in tragedies every day. A lot of those lives can be lifted from its current predicament and who knows, maybe some of those lives that where changed can change the world for the better?
Also, why do we care so much about which celebrities is dating which celebrities? Or what they do? Why do we care so much for what they eat and wear? Why do we care so much for nothing, and care so little for what really matters? We do not cherish what is in front of us. We cherish what is lost. When a person is well and alive in front of us, all we see is flaws, and all we can talk about are those flaws. When a person is gone, all we see is perfection and all we can talk about is that perfection.
When someone is gone, they have no need of our understanding; no need of our compassion or kindness — No need of our respect, and no need of our sympathy. So why do we give it so willingly when it does not matter to them anymore? Why do we care only when it no longer a concern?
With questions like those insistently floating around in her head — now do you see how a lost child would be even more lost in this world?
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Because of my connection to the world beyond, no matter how bad things get — I know that there is no greater gift than life. I know the value of my time here is short and precious in compared to that eternal universe beyond that lucky number of years, that my morality allows. The miracle and honour of such a gifted opportunity are something I have known since the day I am made aware of it.
I am taught that life is not about the house I live in, the brand I wear, the car I drive, the money I can make and the people I can impress. It is not even about the pride I feel for all my accomplishments, or the envy I got, or the legacy I plan to leave behind when I am gone. All those things mean nothing in the world beyond I can assure you. Realistically, it also means nothing in this world; not too long after you are gone. Think about it, how important are your great-great grandparents in your daily life now? How important is that metal of recognition or certificate of completion sitting there collecting dust on your deathbed?
People defines success in many ways: To some, it is in having lots of money and possessing abundance of superficial things. To others, it is the respect, approval, and confidences of peers. Some think it is the knowledge you achieved academically. Others think is the lessons you learn on the street to survive. The society, culture, status, and position you live in dictates and outline guideline for “success”. The meaning of “success” is taught to us as we grow, and we feel incline to seek it and entitled to have it. But really, what does it all matter in the end? What can you take with you?
Recently, I have learned that for myself. Success is in how well you understand and applies your wisdom. How well you live the life you are given within the means you are given. The sum of all you are privileged to experience and learned. Also, how true you can be to the person you are born to be despite all the hardship and privileges that could make you otherwise.
When I leave this world, I want to leave with an enriched soul that came to experience and learn all it can be taught. To me, life is a journey of dreams. The most amazing gift in life, is life itself. Does living life by this philosophy really make me “delusional” and “crazy” as some people accused me of? If so, I will gladly carry those titles now with humble pride.
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This chapter is in memory of “Christine” (Christi). Though our journey together is brief, it is cherished. Thank you for your time. (Fly Away Home).
