ASR: B7: Chapter 1: To Be Bias Is Expected
The big picture of the reason why we are put here is lost to us, because we cannot see beyond ourselves to understand that we are all connected within this web of life. This web is weaved to connect us to the great design. But being unable to see its purpose, we are lost. Because we cannot see our purpose for being here. Nor our personal values beyond the physical life we are given. Nor the values of others to us upon the road to ascend. We wander mindlessly and directionless in circles that takes us no further than where we begin.
For all those who wish to teach. Beware of our egos, become familiar with it so you can recognize its manipulative nature. Because it is time, we take responsibilities for our actions. Do not teach lies as truth, nor half-truth as whole. When you yourself have yet to know, differentiate and clarify between the truth we want to believe in — And the truth of lessons taught to us by the higher power. This higher power wants us to fulfil our purpose for existing in this realm and ascend home after the journey has end. So, it will help us where it can, but it can only do so much.
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In this realm. We are especially partial to labels and biasness. Coming from a world where things are seen in its truest form. Thus, things cannot be misperceive based upon an individual chosen perspective. Because perspective is not a choice, and truth is not an option we can decide on. Growing up one of the hardest struggles I had to face are the constant “name” calling and “labelling” people placed upon me that I could not comprehend.
For example: I am not perfect nor a perfectionist. If reading this book give you the impression that I am or even think I am — I am sorry. I apologize that I could not express myself any better to help you understand that I am not. Or maybe you are just not ready to understand who I am. In the past I have been accused of giving of that impression, even though it is never my intention.
I do not believe in perfection, I believe in thoroughness, self-aware, and balance. I believe in taking the time and giving my best effort in everything I do. Because to me in a world with almost limitless possibilities, there are also limitless regrets to have. Without awareness, thoroughness, commitment, and best effort put forth in all actions, and choices we choose to make — we can end up weighted down. Hence, bounded to this existence with baggage of regrets that will not allow us to ascend home when our time here is done.
It is a privilege and an honour to be given this opportunity to exist within this realm, for however long I am blessed with. But no matter how amazing a journey is — it cannot be endless. An end is needed, so that we can take other journeys to be enriched. However, between the end and the start of a new journey. We all need the sweet comfort of home for proper recuperation and time to reflect and savor our experiences, so as not to take it for granted.
Being privileged to this wisdom at a young age. I tailored my life to practice my actions to try to lessen the result of heavy regrets, as I learn the lessons I am here to learn. Because I see the world differently than others. Thus act, react and make choices differently than others — I am often misunderstood by those who have yet to see what I see. To me, perfection leaves no room for mistakes. Mistakes are our characters building blocks — it is essentials to the purpose of our journey here in this realm.
I believe that being imperfect is a privilege not a disgrace. I am made to be imperfectly perfect. Just like you, I am an original piece of art. A masterpiece in its originality; waiting to be realized. Thus, I am not trying to display myself as a perfectionist, but I cannot control how others choose to perceive and receive what is in front of them.
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To those who have already profiled me. Here is my personal definition and differentiation between who I am and who you might think I am. A perfectionist is someone who choose and must do things to the standard they believe is best to satisfy and fulfill their own desired expectations. They agonize if things are not done the way they want it to be done. Or believe it should be done. They are self-oriented in their need to fulfill standards they choose to see things at.
While I try to proactively pick the course of actions that yield the best and most efficient, and beneficial results to get things done. Because I can “see” far and wide, I proactively tries to minimize the damages and consequences, of the choices and actions of others, that is within my environment to tries to contain it. Because of my abilities I am aware, mindful, and learned early that some people are impulsive, unself-aware, and indifference to their abilities to spread pain and suffering.
Knowing they cannot be controlled I tried to contain — within my abilities, the result of their hurtful choices and actions within the least damaging margin to others. My goal has always to make sure everyone suffers a little less than what I can “see”. Even if it means, I must absorb most of the suffering myself. Even if it means I am “hated” for doing what people cannot yet understand. Cannot yet do. Because it pains me to be able to see what is obvious to come, but unable to do anything about it.
No matter how great your gifts and how much wisdom you know. As a being of this world, I am program to feel. Hence, before my higher wisdom kicked in, and I remember who I am here to be. I find the suffering and pain that others feel heartbreaking. Especially, when I know no matter how much I try — Alone, I am not enough to prevent that pain from spreading. In a world where the freedom of choices is something we mindlessly abuse because we can. We are all at the mercy of our own mindlessness, and the factors that motivate others to choose to be as unaware as we are.
Hence, I used to agonize when others suffer because I care — I can feel their pain. As a naïve child still learning, all I knew back then is that pain and suffering are not good feelings. Therefore, I did not want others around me to have to feel it. Not because I suffer from a need to have control of everything I do. Or, have an obsessive need to fulfill an ideal standard that I personally believe in.
This is the difference between someone who is a perfectionist and someone who is just trying to do the best they can, given the conditions and circumstances. While a perfectionist is trying to wear the mask of a “good” person, to show off that they are refined and have sophistication. All I hope is to be able to do is fulfill my higher duties to those around me — to the best of my abilities. So, that those I love, and those who chance to encounter me, can avoid the suffering and pain I see in their path. Even if it means I am “wrong”, hated, judged, and misperceived.
I am willing to do what others choose not to do. Because someone must do it to break the cycle, but no one is willing to do it — so I did. Pain and suffering do not have to be passed on. It does not have to be a virus that keep spreading and doing damages to others. There is too much of it in this world already.
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Because I am made aware of the ways of this world early, and because I know how things does not have to be the way I am taught by others of this realm. I want to resolve suffering and help elevate the souls I encounter to raise above what they are templated to know. I want to share with them the world as I am privileged to experience it. You cannot “see” the higher and true beauty of why life exist — If you could not face and accept all the factors that makes it what it is.
Coming from a world of complete love, into a world where I am taught, I need a reason to be happy, joyful, or to love and care for those I encounter. Because without a reason, I am not allowed to feel that way without being made fun of or labelled “crazy.” It is confusing and hard for me to understand, why the people in my environment would choose to easily accept suffering. Yet, “joy”, “happiness” and “love” need a definite reason and a “proper” situation or condition to be acceptably felt or expressed.
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Since I came into life knowing I am not of this world almost from the beginning. Even though back then I am missing the confidence of awareness, that a large chuck of my true self is shield off for me to be “normal”. Before my harsh lessons started to teach me to be “negative”, because I needed to learn to be like the people of this world to utterly understand them. The higher excitement and joy of being privilege to this life, to be here — Often cannot be contained within my soul. So, it is often overflown into this physical realm and into my physical being.
Growing up I experience life from the perspective of a child given a new toy. So, I accepted it unconditionally. Even with all the hardships and challenges I was experiencing. I still see it as another facet of the toy. It is another component of what makes the experiences unique. Thus, I cherished it as the gift it is. But as I got older, the “clutters” of the material world weakened my connection to my true self.
Coming from a world where the official language of communication does not require the use of “word”. Thus, there is no “labeling” and things are accepted as is. Therefore, there is no miscommunications. I did not realize till my first year of university, how the people of this world seem to be templated. We are taught to embrace that everything in this world should be given a label and follow a templated pattern. It needs a label because labelling seems to give us a sense of comfort and control. Labeling and template patterning allow people to comfortably know where they stand.
To be bias is expected. We are taught to place things we “know” into a form of organized order/patterns — stereotypically. Because we are taught only by doing so — can we “organize the chaos of life”, control, and manage it to survive, achieve comfort, and stabilities. If we do not understand something we would give it an excuse or an “unfavorable” label to feel in control and comfortable. Therefore, it allows us to bypass the lessons we needed to learn and bypass the real answer to the questions as to why we feel uncomfortable with the subject.
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In my case, because the people in my life does not understand me, I get labelled a lot. Which adds to my already confused and disoriented state. With the insistence labeling I begin to learn to accept their “label” as true to the definition of the words that is used. As I emerge into this realm and become its citizen, my spiritual connections weakened, and I am taught traditional habits of this realm. I got conditioned to accept what I am taught.
Hence, I learn to be afraid of the person I know I am to become, and my differences became something I am taught as “wrong”. That I am “wrong” to be me. To be this happy and this grateful for the life I am given. That it is not “right” to feel and express joy and happiness without the conditions and reasons associated with it.
I can remember all the times since I was 5 to my mid-teen years, all the reactions I get from people for being me. I am conditioned by their “your too positive, you have to tone it down” repriming that adds to my sense of displacement. My mother used to tell me I was “crazy” for smiling or always happy for no reason that she can see. My other family members and kids at school too. They often ask me the reason why I am always smiling, singing, and so happy. One time a girl from my high school actually told the teacher on me, because she thought I was smiling at her painful breakup as I walked by her.
It is reactions like those and all the misperceiving of me, that forced me to habitually always trying to explain myself for everything I do or say. Even then, I am taken the wrong way because I lack the understanding of the communication system of this realm. Because I lack the knowledge of the reason why I am different, when all evidence say I should not be.
Thus, I learned to take measures to guard and hide my true self. I often try out people’s “labels” of me by “acting” according to how they perceive me to see myself from their perspective. So, that I can be more aware and see if I can stop the imagine they have created of me. So, that I can be understood better instead of always accused of being whom I am not.
