ASR: B7: Chapter 2: We Cannot Outsource Our Wellbeing To Others.

There are many routes up a mountain. Choosing to be attached to only the one, will hinger our ability to climb it when an obstacle happens. A true mountaineer would know to be open to adapt and adjust to differences paths under different circumstances and conditions.

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People of this realm are quick to judge and label when they do not understand something. Doing so allow them to bypass the efforts exerted to truly having to understand what they do not. Until recently, I did not genuinely understand why for so long everyone labelled me with the term “negative”.

Even some of my closest friends and relatives, would keep repeating the same advice “ ‘you have to let it go.’ ‘You have to forget about the negative things that happen.’ ‘It is in the past. Move on. Let us start now.’ ‘You are always so negative.’” I used to hear a lot of this kind of labelling when I seek to be understood. Being lost within myself and the world I feel alienated from. I have no defend against such labeling. Thus, I started to believe it and started to act the part to “fit” in and to “hide” whom I am. Because it just seems so much easier for people to accept me as how they “see” me, than to be me.

I did not realize until now that it is not me who is the problems. All my life everyone accused me of being certain ways and I have just accepted it and tries to find ways to improve myself. Never realizing the problem is not all me. People of this realm are quick to judge and label because it is an unaware habit that has been templated and passed down. Thus, hard to break because that is how they were taught to behave. Not knowing of any other way of seeing or acting, and reacting to what they do not understand.

I use examples to articulate what I wanted to say. To give a “picture” to the complexity of the wisdom, or knowledge of things I know and is yet for people to experience and understand. The examples are bridges between my lack of proficiency in communicating myself — And their lack of knowledge to understand what I have been through. Or what I am trying to express. I use examples simply for this reason alone. Not as I am insistently accused of — being “negative”.

Being someone who is spiritually “awakened” early. Whom learned to accept some of the hardest wisdom of this realm early in life. I know not to let myself be buried in the past. I know how “fleeting” this life is. How precious and sacred every moment is. This awareness is what makes me gives 110% of myself to everything I decided on.

Hence, after all effort is exhausted: It is easy for me to be humble, easy for me to walk away from my lost, easy to accept my place — easy to understand the hard wisdom I am being taught. Easy for me to flow with the currents of life and accept with great appreciation and gratitude for everything I am given — Without the need to ask for more and wishing for more than what am already freely given.

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“Flowing” and “bypassing” are not the same things. People often preach the phrase “just flow with it” but does not truly understand what they are repeating. The ability to speak is something we often take for granted and abuse easily because we can. I am often advised to mindlessly “flow with it/let it go” by people who does not understand that its meaning to me is different from theirs.

For me “go with the flow” means moving forward — with awareness of past lesson learned by remembering it and carrying it forward to help us with the next lessons we are to face. Not to forget and bypass what we have learned, hence need to be retaught. The ability to forget is easy for those who wants to bypass the lessons they do not want to learn. Or to try to understand the hard wisdom that is being taught.

It is why traumatic experiences are life affecting. It can draw us into cycles that can haunt and break us down slowly, as we tense to not like to remember what makes us feel uncomfortable. When we leave an unresolved past behind, it does not stay behind. Because our life is designed to teach us lessons. Those lessons left unlearn will haunt us, and follow us not only to the end of this life — But to next as well.

Hence, if we do not want to remember and face what traumatize us, so that we can see clearly pass the fear that kept us from seeing where the problems originated from. How are we going to fix the roots that keeps us within that detriment cycle that life throw at us? How are we going to learn the lessons we are supposed to learn to use it to answers the final exam? The daily surprise quizzes and tests are important. But so are the exams at the end of the journey too. Hence, why we cycle lessons after lessons, why “history” keeps repeating itself.

“History” would not need repeat itself if we are mindful and remembers the lessons it has taught. But we choose not too. We choose to be “cool,” (forgetful and inconsiderate), “easygoing” (mindlessness and unaware), and “fun” (irresponsible). There is nothing wrong with being all those terms — As long as, we are also mindful of our higher purposes and missions for being here.

We can and are supposed to have fun and be all those terms. Just not so unmindful and out of balance that we forget why we are here. Forget we are dimensional beings too. Forget that the part of us we cannot see is just as important as the part we can see. That it has purpose and reasons for being here as well. Forgetting that our higher purpose and goals matters just as much as our physical’s. Hence, we are unable to clearly identify the roots of our problems.

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Think about it. Our problems do not go away just because we do not think about it. A serious physical wound does not “just go away” on it own. Most times it gets infected and only more serious unless we are mindful to take action to deal with it properly to prevent infections.

Often, it is never the physical surface of the wound we can see that is the problem. But the infections we cannot see, and is not mindful — or aware of, that is. The physical part of the wound can heal and close over the infections. Making it look deceptively better, but then hides the true damage that it can continue to make.

Serious infections such as traumatic experiences are life-affecting on all levels. No matter where the location of the wound is, it is still part of us. Hence, once infected those infections can spread to other parts. But most time we only treat what is on the surface because we are templated to think only the surface appearance matters.

We go to the doctors and specialists; we tell them what is wrong with us. Then, they take what we tell them and make an educated guess from what they know. But what happens when we are too afraid to see with clarity our problems? Hence, we give them misinformation, or left out finer details that would have been essential to them properly diagnosing us.

We can only be help properly if we are doing our own “due diligence” too, right? Doctors and specialists are only human too. Even with all their training and experiences, on bad days they make mistakes. Overwhelmed by number of patients or even lack of sleep from the daily grind of life. It is not irrational to think that they can misdiagnose conditions due to combined human errors from both us and them. Therefore, we should not expect them to take sole responsibilities for our wellbeing.

Our wellbeing is our responsibility not anyone else. Others can help us, but they cannot do so properly — If we neglect to help ourselves by being mindful and do our parts. We should not see doctors and specialists as different from us due to the “label” that is attached to their name. They are human like us. They have gifts and talents that are different from us, but that does not make them Gods. They cannot be expected to take on more responsibilities than what is within their human limitations.

In today’s world we have lots of doctors and specialist trained for specialize ailments. Some specialized areas are good. It is needed. But others should not be so specialized, why? Because, by the time we get to the second or third doctors, the roots of our problems can be lost within the channel of communications and the margins of human errors.

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In my opinion, once in awhile we should review the past. Review, relearn what works, and what can be improved to use to better our current foundation. Today our world value quantities over quality. Maybe it is time we go back to the principle of valuing the quality over superficial quantities. The numbers of doctors and specialists matters, but their quality of support and help matters more. I have known doctors and specialist who cares more for their paycheck then the patients that comes through their door.

Those doctors and specialists have beautiful labels after their name, but their heart and soul lack the true gifts of a real healer. As I have said before, just because privilege allow us to achieve all the decorations, we wear — Does not mean we are suited for who we want to be. Can you truly help someone who really needs help, in 5 mins while you are overwhelmed and distracted? Simple problems can exist for years because we do not make time to properly be diagnosed. Hence, the overwhelming number of patients increase, which equal to a demand for more health care personnel.

I am truly grateful for our advances, that allow us to have more help and easier access when we need them. But at what cost to us and to those here to help us? The truly good health care personnel are burnt out because we have taken advantage of their availability and kindness. We have put too much weight upon their shoulders with our lack of effort to take care of ourselves.

Lack of effort to do our part in the treatments we need. Because we have gotten into the habit of outsourcing our strength, abilities, and responsibilities for ourselves onto others. We put a burden on the truly gifted. Creating high demands, hence forcing our system to accommodate by allowing the ones that are not — An opportunity to overshadow and outnumber the gifted with our superficial requirements.

Truly helping someone is a joy, not a job. For the real healers, it is not the status or the fancy labels after their name that is the payment. But the light in the smiles that grace faces of those whom they have helped — help themselves. Seeing the strength of everyone who empowered themselves to get stronger. To heal someone on all level is the gifts that they want to receive in return. True healers do not want to see their patient again as patients. They want to see them again as companions. As someone who can help them heal others.

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What I have learned: To truly heal. To truly be free of your wounds. You must be able to freely remember. Freely express and embrace the memories of those wounds — And be grateful for those scars that remind you of those lessons. Hence, I do not look back at those examples I brought up to articulate and try to help me communicate my points — as wounds still open to revisit.

Nor to excuses me from new lessons. I use those examples to honour past lessons learned — to remind me of where I come from. So, I can ground myself to other’s situations or circumstances to help them see that I do understand what they are trying to say to me. That I am listening. Do you know how many others I have known who can easily forgets the gifts that others bestowed upon them? Who thinks they got to the top all on their own? Forgetting they got there because of the collective contribution by everyone they have ever encounter.

Not only is it easy for us to forget other’s contributions to our position in life. But we also forget how to truly empathize and sympathize with them once we get to that place we want to be. Once there we look down on others who have contributed to our position and demean, devalue, and judge their failures with our ego. We do not realize sometimes their “failures” are because of us.

They make sacrifices to love us, to care for us, to be there for us. While we learn to walk, they are there just in case we fall so they can pick us up and hug us and kiss us and love us. When we need someone to push us, they are the winds behind our backs. But once we are stable on our feet and started running. We forget the personal sacrifices they make to be there. The effort they invested in us at their own expenses.

This kind of unaware mindlessness is something I see very often. One of the main reasons why relationships (of any type) have conflicts or fail. Because we forget to be mindful and appreciative of the gifts of people in our lives. Forget to be considerate and thoughtful towards others’ effort. Because they give, we mindlessly take without any consideration for their wellbeing. Or the effect it would have on them so that we can gain.

Being someone who is aware of human nature on such an intimate level as I am privileged to. Also, from a history of clumsiness that causes me to repeatedly crash and burnt when it comes to communicating. I embrace this method of articulating through examples to help me express and coop with my lack of communication skills. Also, to remind me to stay grounded as I climb this mountain call “life”. Not because I am “full” of myself and only want to talk about me.

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Bringers of changes are not here to be anyone’s hero or heroine. Not here to be symbols of unrealistic believes, hopes, and dreams. They are here to be a student of life like everyone else. To understand and help us, understand our higher existence’s purpose, and accomplish its goals. To be companions who walks in our skin who truly understand us, so they can support and help us ascend too — Not Gods to be worship.

Hence, I am not here to belittle others for their effort in living their life. I know how hard life can be. How much effort it takes to learn — anything. Taking away my ability to remember who I am and my ability to communicate with others, allows me the freedom to relearn the struggle others faces. Forcing me to appreciate and see others not through the lens of someone who have outgrown others. But someone who understands current conditions and circumstances.

Someone who can empathize, sympathize, and know where the roots of our problems lie so we can all fix it together. Someone who does not judge others based only on superficial factors. Hence, disabling my abilities, taught me to learn to be someone who respects, accepts, and embrace this world that is “new” to me. To accept those within it as they are — not as I want and expect them to be. I learn to ground to a platform that I have already outgrown to re-understand the basics of what is once — to learn new ways to approach a “path” to ascend further. To be able to teach and accompanying different companions on this journey to growth.

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Side Note: I am no “Expert” and have not gone to any fancy medical school. I am also not devaluing the educations and experiences some of those many abundance healers and specialists out there. I am just recording what I am seeing and experiencing and sharing my perspective. Not everyone can be taught by the same method, nor can we all be help by the same method either.

I know I do not have the physical credentials to be arrogant nor conceited. Hence, I am not trying to be offensive to those who does have it. Unlike others, I am taught directly by source. Multiple “lives” of traumatizing experiences taught me to be humble, practical, and to pay close attention to what is beneath what is obvious. To respect not only the things, I can see but those that I cannot see as well.

I share my experiences not as advice or suggestion, but as another point of perspective for you to explore. I learned young to survive the hardship of life, by letting go of my ego and listen to all who tries to help. Respect all who truly put in the efforts.

Occasionally, it does not hurt to try to take a different path up this mountain of existence. Does not hurt (much) to truly try a different routine and then say it does not work. The worst? We go back to doing what we have been doing that yield the same results — or no results. The best? We found a different path that is easier to take, that gives us another way up — if something happens to our usual path. Sometimes we do not have options — not because there is none. But because we are not open to it see otherwise.