ASR: B8: Chapter 4: Fools Are The Hunters, Who Hunts Something That Only Sleep When It Dies.

To those whom I have encountered and those who I will encounter. Without the experiences of having anyone like me in your life, and without a defend from me that you can understand. I do understand your lack of acceptance and your reactions to my actions. I understand why you perceived, interpreted, and reacted to my actions the way you do. You acted according to what you were taught is natural.

I, understand. Thus I can forgive you — but I cannot ask the same from you. You do not have the insight into me as I do you. I am not the one in front of a two-way mirror, but do not know it. I am not the one feeling uncomfortable because I can sense something unknown is watching me through the mirror. Causing all kind of instinctive alarm to go off, while being unaware of the nature of the mirror.

Those who are sensitive or is aware of the mirror’s nature, can sense my presence. They know that someone is there on the other side, but because they cannot see me. Fear of the unknown, bring forth templated caution, suspicions, and mistrusts to guides their perception, judgment, reactions, and actions. Thus, to them because I am unknown. Thus, unfamiliar. Thus, a threat until revealed or proven otherwise.

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Like that analogy of the two-way mirror: We live our reality based on proven facts and physical state of matters. Yet, we only see from one side of that two-way mirrors surrounding us. Thus, we only accept and trust what we know, by comparing it with what we can see. But when what we see is only half of the picture, how can we make clear assessment of what should or should not be?

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Being a private person myself, being someone entrusted with things I cannot freely share at a whim. I am very aware of personal space, very aware and mindful of the importance of respecting it. Thus, I know when not to interfere or “nose” into others’ business. As a child, I am that little girl who choose to sit away from the gossiping group, so I do not have to hear what I should not. But I hear it anyway, loudly, and clearly, because I am born into this tight environment with abilities I cannot turn off.

Thus, not many can understand how painful it is to be constantly face with the choice of watching someone drown. Or be, drown yourself, by the hands of the very person you want to save. You know they are not intentionally struggling against you and trying to drown you, or themselves in the process. You know the challenge and consequences of the position you took when you jumped in — If being a lifeguard is something you choose to take on. Then you know the risks going into it. Even if you are a superior swimmer; every time you jump into that water to try and save someone, just doing your job. You are risking the possibility that you will drown. But you do it — because it is your job. You chose that position.

Now imagine, yourself in my place. I did not physically know I choose my position. But instinctively, I still act and react as if I do. But I do not know why, so I cannot tell you why I do what I do. Why I cannot stop. Why I cannot justify my need to jump back into that water time and time again. If I know, then as I drown, I can find peace with the knowledge that the choice is mine. But if I do not know, as I drown it is not peace that I will find.

Also, physically, once you drown, you are done. Game over, start again. The pain is forgotten. The learned fear of the experience is temporarily forgotten in the new round. Life is kind of nice that way. Death gave you that relief; that break — you needed before you must do it over.

But what if…you are someone who remembers…

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Unlike that tangible lifeguard position, intangibles situations and positions are not so easily escaped nor defined. Time and time again, in my positions the people I tried to save. Tried to drown me, but there is no “reset” button to start again. The challenges, the struggles, and the consequences are continuous.

For example: If suddenly I approached you and tell you not to go into the water today. Of course, you would wonder who I am and what rights do I have to tell you not to do anything. So despite, my warning you still choose to go in. Then something happens and you are drowning. I ran in and tried to save you again. But if in your panic; you refuse to listen and acknowledge my directions again. There is nothing I can do but watch you drown.

Or be, drown along with you. Though I know I have tried my best, and the decision to go into that water, despite all warnings, to face the consequences is yours. It does not make it any easier for me to accept the fact that I know your fate, and I failed to save you from yourself. I failed to convince you, and I failed to do what I am here to do. I fail to make you realize that you can fight me. You can hurt me. You can judge me. You can hate me. You can label me. You can stop me. But if I stop trying — it is not I who loose.

Someone who chose to go into this position; would also know and be aware of all the risks and liabilities the position require. Even being proactive and knowing something is a possibility; and being mentally and emotionally prepare for it: does not make having to live with the failed result any easier. So, can you imagine how much harder it would be for someone who is not aware of their roles, nor understand its duty and obligations?

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Now, can you imagine me going into my position, not knowing why I do what I must do. Only knowing the pains, the struggle, and the harsh reactions I often receive? Until things are clarified for me, only knowing the unpleasant consequences of my actions. I could not make any revelations. Now knowing who I am, and why I choose to do what I came here to do. I earned the wisdom to bare my burden with grace. I learn to balance the pain with understanding, the struggle with acceptance, and the negative consequences with compassion.

Going back to the same example: I learn now that my success in saving someone is not correlated only with my effort. It must be correlated with those who cried out to be saved. I cannot make someone listen when they choose not to. I can give the message but until you are ready, I will not be heard. My wisdom and warnings are nothing but unfound paranoia, nagging, pessimistic, and “negativity” — If that is what other choose to see it as. My offer of a genuine hand is nothing but arrogant and conceit, to those who judge me by their own reflections and what they are taught.

From experience I have learned people will find every excuse to defend their actions and believes; no matter what we say to them. Thus, until they are ready to really listen and see — not just saying they have heard or see. They will only see and hear their reflections. Thus, will deflect any effort on our part with defensive respond of: retaliation, justification, explanations, and excuses that suits their desired actions and chosen perspective.

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A current life example to the drowning analogy and to articulate my points for your understanding is the most current world’s situation: COVID-19, the Coronavirus. How long did it take us to heed the signs? How long did it take us to believe the warnings? How long did it take us to follow the obligation to social distancing? How often did we still go out and putting ourselves and others at risk? How many excuses did we gave to justify our continue ignorant to the earnest cries of those who are looking out for us? Those who are doing what they can to help us.

While we sit around in our entitlements of “rights” to find excuses to outsource and blame others? While we act on our believed entitlements to sabotage the effort of those who tries to help us? How much blame did we put on them when it is us facing the consequences of our actions? How many people had to die for us to see the predicament of our situation, or have put others in? How far do we want the continuous damage to happen before we see the truth? How late does it have to be before we choose to save ourselves? Choose to be considerate and thoughtful of others? Choose to be mindful and aware of our higher lessons.

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Side Note: Please do not mistaken what I have said about COVID safety as an attack on you if you are opposed to it. I am not telling you what to believe. Because at the end of the day, it will not be me living the consequences of the choice you make. But I must add my opinion and my perspective for all those people who think it is governments’ conspiracy from the beginning — or still is.

It might have started off as one, or even two, very stupidly arrogant governments trying to manipulate the world and play God. There might also be some form of manipulation once things get a little better. But no man — no single governments can enrage Mother Nature and Source alone. This is not “his” doing, “her” doing or “their” doing — but OUR doing. As I have said in past chapters — every action is remembered to dictate consequences.

This “Existence Event” was triggered by “US,” not “them.” My whole life, I wanted this big event to be my “paranoia.” I wanted it to be me “overthinking”, me being “unrealistic,” and “delusional” about what I know. That my “gifts” are nothing but my “imagination.” That what I know is the result of too many movies or stories. Too much creative imagination. I keep telling myself that if I do not think about it, the knowing would go away, and it would not happen. I had so much hope — that we would realize what need to be fix and fix it — before the trigger goes off.

For those who still think it is governments conspiracy. Open your eyes, our world is made smaller with advance technology. Before our advancement, a single government can hide its dark deeds. But now, with the internets and all our advanced technologies.

The cries of one nation or even two, is possible government manipulation. But the cries of the world — And the rage of Mother Nature is Source. It is Source saying, “Use the brains and abilities I gave you!” We have been given thousands of years, I think it is more than enough to show how patient and benevolent Source is. It does not need to prove that fact anymore. But do you not think it is time, it shows us why it is what it is — and our place?

Do you know what it is like to be hunted and cornered by ignorant fools, who does not know the power of their prey? Just because its rans — does not mean it is afraid. Do you know how much LOVE it takes to tolerate that kind of stupidity? To NOT do what would be SO easy?

If you know, then you will understand why Source is Source, and we are who we are. So be grateful and start paying attention. In this new grid, there shall be no more endless tragic death for the bringers of changes. No more unnecessary suffering for those who are fulfilling their higher purpose and mission. Unless…it is for them to remember who they are and learn what they need to learn — To do what they are here to do.

Fools are the hunters, who hunts something that only sleep when it dies.